15 March, 2009

Reasons Why English is Hard to Learn

English is a very peculiar language that I will grant,
there’s no ham in hamburger or egg in the eggplant
Many foreign visitors never quite manage to grapple
With the fact that there is no pine or apple in a pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England in fact
And French fries were not invented in France to be exact
But if foreigners can’t understand us I don’t give a fig
If a guinea pig is not from Guinea and its not even a pig
So what if Quicksand takes you down slowly, who cares?
And does it matter if the Boxing rings are really squares.

Have you eer run into someone who has combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3)The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture,

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put !!

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