Today is a special day - introducing Google translate for Anumals !!

Google Bolehland developed a special Google Translate for Animals, a new Android application that "allows you to record animals sounds and have the sounds analyzed and translated by Google Translate into any of the 52 supported languages".

Meanwhile, The Guardian reported the Labour Party plans to tackle rumors that Prime Minister Gordon Brown has anger-management issues with a campaign slogan "Vote Labour. Or else."

It said strategists plan posters based on classic films "casting Brown as The Gordfather, the Terminator or Mr. Brown from 'Reservoir Dogs.'"

Advertisers get in on the act, too. A BMW ad invites British drivers to "show your true colors this election" with special hood ornaments in red, blue and yellow - the colors of the Labour, Conservative and Liberal Democrat parties.

"In the event of a hung Parliament, we'll replace your badge for free," it says.

The Daily Mail reported that the Automobile Association (AA), which deals with emergency callouts to car breakdowns, had equipped its staff with jet-packs to fly over gridlocked traffic to reach stranded motorists faster.

Under an article entitled the Airborne Association, the paper said the launch of the company's rocket men marked "the first time the AA has tried to go over the traffic rather than through it to reach stranded drivers".

"The AA patrol van parks within a mile of the stricken member and the jet-pack pilot launches from the back of the van," according to AA future technologies strategist, Dr Raif Lopol.

Meanwhile, The Sun proudly declared it had succeeded in creating "the world's first flavoured PAGE," next to a blank, white square which contained the instruction: "Lick here."

The paper invited readers to "test our page here and guess the taste".

"We have exciting plans for multi-sensory branding of The Sun," said a spokeswoman for the paper's publisher News International.

- By Apple Foo

Lawyer Jokes

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?

* How many can you afford?
* Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.


What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
Jewelry.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other.

How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say "Fees!"

"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"






and, some Funny lawyer quotes:

* There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable. - Robert Smith Surtees

* Whoever tells the best story wins. - John Quincy Adams

* A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

* Ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it. - Adison Mizner

* In almost every case, you have to read between the lies. - Angie Papadakis

* A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself. - Lord Brougham

* A man is innocent until proven broke. - Anonymous

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR .THE..

# 1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR ................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it , no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

# 1 + SMART ASS ANSWER from ZORRO

Man comes to doc,clutching his john and tells doc. "I will show you something but promise me you will not laugh.", " Of course, no ".

Man lets down his pants and the doc was rolling with laughter at the smallest he has seen in his career. He checks himself and ask: " Now whats wrong ?"
Man: " its swollen !"